Almost, nearly, soon

Win started nursery two years ago, and he started school last September. Rufus was thrilled as Win started school. He loved helping Win choose the perfect pair of school shoes, and watching him try on his uniform. He knows the names of Win’s friends, the names of his teachers and loves asking Win what he decided to have for lunch.

Ru will start nursery in a just over a weeks time, and he can’t wait. I feel like he has been waiting a long time. A long time to feel grown up like Winston. To take a packed lunch, meet new friends, to play and learn new things. To move on, and have something exciting that is his. Away from home, away from his brothers and away from his parents. I can stop saying: “Almost”, “Nearly”, “Soon”, and say: “Yes. Your time has come”.

I remember feeling the same growing up. Always wanting to be ten instead of nine. Looking forward to my next birthday, and never being content to ‘just be’. A shift happens as you age. Now all I wish for is time to slow down and be kind. I don’t know exactly when the shift happened for me, but it was somewhere between leaving home at 18, and finishing university at 21. Perhaps to do with gaining independence, and properly entering the ‘real world’. I realised that there is no need to rush through life – that enjoying the moment and feeling content is the key to happiness. Often more difficult than it sounds.

Ru is quiet, sensitive and thoughtful. He’s an easy child in lots of ways, yet our most confusing – content when you least expect, and upset when you least expect. He doesn’t like attention, often won’t speak up and could easily get lost in a large group of children, yet the right person will open him up and find out who he is. I hope he finds that person, or more likely – that that person finds him.

The time has come. The time is now. Go spread your wings. Your time has come, my Ru.

E xx