Otto and I

Otto and I. Me and O. O and I. I love that boy.

Babies need a lot of care and attention. They need love. They need time. They demand things. They get hungry. They get tired. They need reassurance. They need us when there’s not much left to give. They are dependent. They are exhausting. However, babies don’t judge. They’re uncomplicated. They’re accepting. They’re happy. They’re delightful. They’re naive. They’re innocent. They are precious beyond measure. The most beautiful, and perfect of creatures.

Having Otto in my life over the last ten months has made the time since losing my Dad so much easier. So much happier. So much fuller, and so much brighter. Imagining the last year without Otto is impossible, but mainly because of how much he has helped me. He brings me so much joy, and has been there for me. He has been present without feeling the need to say anything – exactly what I have needed.

He’s our third baby, and each time I have enjoyed the baby stage more. Free from the worries and stresses of a new mum, I have been able to embrace it more fully, whilst learning plenty of new things along the way. I know it doesn’t last forever, and I need to make the most of it – something I couldn’t have done with my first because I felt so overwhelmed.

I like to think that Otto met my Dad. My Dad arrived, and Otto was getting ready to come. My Dad told him all about Jared and I. He told him that he would be loved, about his brothers, how he was so wanted in our family and how much fun we’d have together.

Otto is another reminder to me that life goes on – it really has to, and that heaven isn’t as far away as we think, or feel it is.

One day I will tell him how much his mum needed him when he was born. I will probably write him a letter. I will tell his brothers how much I need them too, and how every day they teach me things that nobody else could.

These little people really do capture our hearts.

My boy O. What a cherished boy he is.

E xx



  1. 1st February 2017 / 11:08 am

    He’s beautiful Esther, it’s so nice that you had him at the time when you needed him most. These little people really do keep us going xx

    • Esther
      7th February 2017 / 9:02 pm

      Absolutely Hayley. A force of nature 🙂 x

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