I don’t know why (or how), but in my life I have always had good friends, and it is something I am so thankful for. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, because with having friends; comes the responsibility to be a good friend, and this is something I am neglecting at the moment. It’s something that frustrates me (because I care), and something I want to improve upon.
I have responsibilities as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a daughter in law, a mother and a wife. I’m not someone that feels pressure to be perfect in any of those roles, but I do like people to know they are loved and appreciated. My immediate family is huge, my mum is now without my dad, my life is busy, my boys are young, and I get distracted by daily life…but at the same time, I don’t want any of those to become excuses.
The amazing thing about being a friend is that often you don’t know what difference you make. I’ve been reflecting on the ‘types of friends’ I’ve had throughout my life, and one thing that has struck me is that I didn’t always know I needed a friend until afterwards. I was fine, plodding along nicely, but having a friend made my experiences so much better, so much easier, so much sweeter, and so much more fun.
Friendship is beautiful, and this is a small celebration of its beauty. An ode to those people in my life that know who they are, and that will never know exactly what a difference they have made in my life. You are precious.
There are friends that you have for a season of your life, but then you grow apart – and that’s fine.
There are friends that will always need you a little more than the others – and that’s fine too.
There are friends you’ve known since you were small – they understand where you come from, they know your family, and there is something so precious about that. They knew your grandparents and your late father, and it somehow binds you together a little more tightly.
There are friends that revised with you. Went to the library with you. Ate lunch with you, and sat next to you.
There are friends that are honest with you, because they want the best for you.
There are friends that are always upbeat and positive.
There are friends that you see a few times a week – they are easy going, fun, chatty and have a very similar outlook on life. They have children, are ambitious, completely lovely and you always look forward to seeing them.
There are friends that understand you. Know exactly what you mean, listen and always say the right thing.
There are friends that know a secret or two.
There are friends that celebrate with you. That encourage you. That cheer you on.
There are friends that you know were placed in your life for a reason.
There are friends that you only see or hear from every so often, but it’s always the same, and it’s always great to catch up.
There are friends that got you through university. Helped you get ready for that important party, helped you navigate through the dating scene, danced with you until 4am and were up for anything.
There are friends that you just love chatting to, inspire you and make you want to be a better person. I would slot every single one of my ten siblings into this category. They are some of my favourite people to talk to – so full of ideas, thoughts and plans.
There are the people that you never expected to become friends with, but for some reason it works.
There are friends that see a rose tinted version of you, the version of yourself you’re trying to become…and isn’t that nice?
There is my husband who is my greatest friend and one I often take for granted. He knows the ‘warts and all’ version of me…and isn’t that nice too? Someone has got to accept them.
Contact a friend you love, and let them know that you care.
Aww I love this post 🙂 I don’t have that many friends these days but I’m okay with that, it’s always nice to catch up with old friends when I get the chance.
Thank you Nat. Old friends are so precious x
This is a lovely post and so true. Friendships are so important. It is wonderful to be really known by people and to be able to support them back. I think it is quite common that raising children means we have less time to devote to friendships. I found this and ended up going for quality rather than quantity. When I do see my friends we aim to have a really good time together. #sharewithme
Thank you so much for your lovely comment Kirsten. I agree, that quality is far superior to quantity where friends are concerned xx
We have a really small family so I get the pressure you feel! Since having my second I’ve realised who my true friends are and I’m starting to care less about those who don’t make an effort! I can tell you are a good friend because you cared enough to write this post! #sharewithme
Thank you Amy. Loved reading your comment! x
I have very few people I can call friends, colleagues a plenty who I get on with, but rarely socialise outside of work as I often worry these people do not really like me. Maybe a lot to do with growing up in the RAF and moving too often to make friends let alone really get to know anybody properly.
I speak to a few on Facebook that I went to school with but that was over 40 years ago so a bit late really.
I envy people who grew up in one area and have friends going back to their school days and remember how their area use to look and talk about the changes. #sharewithme
Thank you for your comment Elaine. It is so interesting to get another perspective. I can imagine it would be very difficult and unsettling to make friends when you move around a lot. I would certainly struggle because of my personality. I have made new friends since becoming a mum when I never thought I would. I feel like I had to make a lot of effort and overcome a few insecurities a long the way. Thanks again xx
What a beautiful post.
Thanks Debbie xx
True friendship is such an incredible gift. Nothing like it!
I was nodding along to all of this Esther, I’m really lucky that I’ve made some lovely friends. I don’t have a huge amount but the ones I do have I really do appreciate. I was having a rubbish day on Tuesday and one of my friends messaged me to see if she could pop in after school and I said she always seems to have a knack of knowing when to pop round, really cheered me up. I feel like the older I get the more we all really appreciate the little things we do for each other when life gets busy. You’d be a fab friend I’d bet 😉 Beautifully written as always!
Thank you Hayley. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I loved reading your story – that is exactly why good friends are wonderful. I am so glad you have made some great friends. I never thought I would find new friends when we moved to where we live 7 years ago, but now they are a major pull to stay where we are. Something I would never have considered a factor a few years ago xx
Aw this is so lovely Esther. You’ve summed up friendship so well. I’ve always had a bit of a strange thing with friends as I’ve moved about so much and never really got to know anyone really well. I’ve found that having 3 siblings has meant that they’ve always been my closet allies and friends really. Really emjoyed reading this, particularly as I embark on a new adventure with the move to somewhere where we don’t know anyone. I really want to get out there and make some lovely new friends but I’m so nervous xx
I think moving makes things incredibly hard to make new friends. I have found I really have had to put myself ‘out there’, which really isn’t my personality at all. I really hope you settle quickly in your new home and feel ready to head out and make friends. I’ve made some wonderful friends since becoming a mum, and I never ever thought I would. It totally took me by surprise xx
How lovely – I think it’s a case of quality of the friendship for me that’s important. Thanks for linking to #sharewithme