Before having children I really thought that babies were boring, really boring. I didn’t ‘get’ them at all, and I used to panic when asked if I wanted to have a hold. I didn’t want to say no, but I didn’t want to say yes either – why on earth would I want to hold a blob? and why on earth would you trust me with your precious bundle? Yes, I was really that bad.
Fast forward a few years, and I think babies are incredible – the furthest thing from a blob I can think of. I have loved having a newborn more each time, and there is something so magical about having a newborn in the house – a person with a unique personality that slowly unfolds day by day. Having a newborn in the house also unfolds the personality of everyone else – new situations arise, new relationships develop and we have an extra person to love.
Third time around I knew having a newborn would be a lot easier than first time around, but I’m surprised by how much I’ve forgotten. First time around everything new felt stressful, whereas this time around it feels familiar, and it’s become (mostly) sweet to remember all the little things:
- The way they sleep with the hands in front of their faces with their fingers spread. It is just the most precious thing.
- How easily startled they are.
- How they love looking out of the window, and the way their eyes go wild when the light changes.
- How jerky their movements are. No wonder they get tired!
- When you pick them up and they arch their back to have a good stretch like a small animal. It’s my absolute favourite thing.
- How deeply sad they can look.
- When they almost sneeze, but don’t quite make it. I’d forgotten how much I love that sound.
- How lovely the feed before Jared and I go to bed is. Baby is always happy, and Jared and I get some one on one time with them.
- How much guesswork is involved. Even third time around it is a guessing game. We’ve just become more efficient at narrowing down the options.
- The raptor noises they make when you change their nappy, as if to say: “Excuse me – do you mind?”
- How they do a little wriggle when you start talking to them, and search your face for an expression – as if you are going to say something incredibly exciting.
- How much breastfeeding hurts in the first two weeks (ouch), and how bad the after pains can be. This time they were so painful.
- How they look at you when they’re feeding as if to say: “If I stay down here and am quiet, maybe she won’t notice I’m here” – yes I will mister.
- How desperate they are for milk and the relief that comes when they find it – you’d think they hadn’t eaten for days.
- How much they poo!
- Totally forgot about the need for breast pads. Whoops.
- How you sometimes imagine them crying in your head. It always happens to me when I’m in the shower and I have to switch it off and check.
- Grunting and lots of it. Plus, little whistling sounds when they sleep.
- How they are still so curled up – arms up near their heads, and legs like a little frog.
I already feel like our newborn phase is coming to an end. He’s becoming far more aware, is in a loose routine and he’s starting making noises to have conversations with us. I am so looking forward to getting know his personality as the months go by, yet I’m in no rush at all. It’s just so beautiful, and I want to try and soak it all up.