Starting school

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Win will be starting school this September and it’s something I’ve thought about daily for a good few months. More than a few times it has made me really quite sad and tearful. Sad that the end of an era is coming to a close, and tearful at how he will be opened up to a whole new world, which often won’t be as loving, kind and forgiving as his home.

It’s not that I don’t want him to be opened up to a whole new world. I just keep getting little glimpses of how much things are going to change for him, how much he is going to learn, develop and grow. Plus, he’s going to learn how different people are, and that not everyone comes from a stable, loving home – it all breaks my heart just a little bit.

I loved school at every age. I even loved homework. I was quite lucky – I never got bullied, I don’t remember anyone saying anything unkind to me and never felt like I didn’t have any friends, although some friends were better than others. I want him to love school like I did, enjoy himself and feel happy about the person that he is.

Nursery has been a pretty smooth transition and although he has had the occasional wobble – he is always happy to go. I know from our experience with nursery that he’s not going to tell me much about school, and I’m going to find that hard. I know I’ll want to know what he’s learning about, what he chose to have for lunch that day, what his favourite thing was and who he played with.

I can’t expect the teacher to know when he’s upset, to understand his little quirks like I do, to know that he’s a perfectionist, or to know what to say to him when he’s feeling insecure. It’s taken us years to work out these things. I’ll have to take a little step back, and let him work out things for himself.

We were really happy with our catchment school and were confident that he would get in – he did. I told him on Monday that there was space for him at school, and he told me that he won’t be going because it is every day, and he doesn’t want to go somewhere every day. I told him that there is a choice of dessert every day and that he gets lots of holidays, which made him feel much better about going every day.

I am genuinely excited for this new chapter ahead of us, but I’d be lying if I said I’m entering it full of enthusiasm and without apprehension. I am truly going to miss him, and know I’m going to have to consciously carve out time for just the two of us.

I can picture the scene clearly in my head now as Jared and I drop him off for his first day – both of us are fighting back tears, and we fail miserably as we turn around and walk home. We collect him afterwards and try to play it cool when asking him how his day went – but we fail miserably at that too.

E xx

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10 Comments

  1. 20th April 2016 / 9:24 am

    I feel exactly the same about mine. I can’t believe it’s come round so quickly. September is going to be a difficult time!
    Nat.x

    • Esther
      26th April 2016 / 2:21 pm

      Agreed! I really think it will be – especially because they will be completely worn out every day too! x

  2. Vicki
    20th April 2016 / 9:31 am

    Oh my days….my daughter is only 18 months and I just got teary at this thinking about what is going to come in a few years time. Damn hormones!!
    Win will do amazing though, and so will you.

    • Esther
      26th April 2016 / 2:25 pm

      18 months – what a brilliant age. I know – so emotional! x

  3. 20th April 2016 / 7:58 pm

    He might tell you more than you think – my son Felix (now five) tells me so many more details about his day at kindergarten now he’s a bit older. Kids don’t start school here in Norway until the year they turn six, but he has been in full time kindergarten for years.

    • Esther
      26th April 2016 / 9:52 pm

      I really hope he starts to tell me more. I think it is brilliant that they start the year they turn 6. Thanks for your comment, I loved reading it xx

  4. 21st April 2016 / 10:23 pm

    Oh he looks so dinky still. This post made me feel quite emotional. I remember LP starting last September and it was just such a huge thing but now, two terms in, she has grown and blossomed so much. It has been so scarily fast really. And now Troy is starting preschool in September… life is whizzing by! x

    • Esther
      26th April 2016 / 9:53 pm

      I loved reading your comment Donna – I really hope so! I honestly think he’ll love it, but it is such a huge milestone isn’t it? For all of us! xx

  5. 26th April 2016 / 8:45 pm

    Oh babes I can relate so much to this last year, only last year B started school and I spent the whole year leading up to it feeling like this. We have now settled into a lovely school routine and I have fallen in love with his school the teacher the parents and everything about it. Like you we have clsoe in age and its only next year that my littlest will join him. I bet he will fit right in darling and you will feel so much better once a routine settles in I promise you. Other parents just starting are feeling the same. Thanks so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

    • Esther
      26th April 2016 / 9:54 pm

      So pleased that you are all settled into a lovely routine and that B has blossomed…isn’t that such a good word? I love it! Two at school soon – wow! Good to know others are feeling the same xx

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